Following God in Your Giving After Losing a Spouse 

Should I continue giving the way my spouse and I always have, or should my giving begin to reflect the passions God has placed on my heart? 

By Ryan Klund 

Recently, I sat down for an Annual Giving Review with a woman whose husband, Fred, had passed away unexpectedly. His death was still very recent, and in their marriage, Fred had generally taken the lead on financial decisions, including much of their giving. 

When we first met, her instinct was clear: 

I want to continue what Fred and I started. I want our giving fund to honor him. 

That made complete sense. Their generosity had been something they shared, and continuing the patterns they had established together was one way of honoring her husband and the life they had built. 

About six months later, we met again. 

This time, the conversation was a little different. 

She still wanted to honor Fred and deeply valued the generosity they had shared. But she was also beginning to recognize that God was writing a new chapter in her own story. 

One thing caught my attention. She had recently made a significant gift toward relief work. Throughout much of their marriage, their giving had primarily focused on supporting missionaries. Relief wasn't necessarily a major part of their previous giving. 

As we talked about it, however, her decision made perfect sense. 

She had spent her career working in the medical field. Helping people in moments of need had been a significant part of her life's work. Though she was no longer working, she was beginning to recognize something important: 

God made me to help people when they are in need. That is still part of who I am. 

Her giving was beginning to reflect that. 

I loved that realization because I think it gives us a helpful framework for generosity. 

We can ask ourselves: 

Where is God's heart? 

What's the story God has written in my life? 

Where can I make an impact? 

The intersection of those questions can be a meaningful place to begin thinking about our generosity. 

Where do I see God's heart for people and the world around me? How has He used my experiences, relationships, abilities and even difficult seasons to shape my story? And where might He be inviting me to use what He has entrusted to me to make an impact? 

Scripture reminds us that generosity is deeply connected to the heart. Paul writes, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Proverbs also encourages us to trust God rather than relying entirely on our own understanding: “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

Those verses don't give us a list of organizations we should support. They point us toward something deeper: a life close to God. 

Sometimes we want God to simply tell us what to do. 

Which organization? How much? Should I maintain what my spouse and I established together? Should I pursue something new? 

But perhaps discernment begins before any of those questions. 

It begins by drawing near to God. 

About the Author 

Ryan Klund serves as a Relationship Manager with National Christian Foundation Wisconsin, where he walks alongside generous Christian families as they seek to steward what God has entrusted to them with wisdom and faith. Through conversations around generosity, charitable planning, and giving strategies, Ryan helps individuals and families consider not only how they give, but how their generosity can reflect what God is doing in their lives and the causes He has placed on their hearts.